OUR SISTER'S HOUSE - helping women go from domestic violence to understanding their self worth.
It’s not easy talking about something you get embarrassed about. What many people don't understand is that it get embarrassing telling people what has been done to you by someone you claim to love and who you think (at first) loves you.
I met him in high school and thought he was my knight in shining armor. It sounds so corny, but because I was overweight and everyone but him made fun of me, that’s what I thought. I didn’t realize then he was just pretending to be an ally, a friend, a confidant and eventually my boyfriend.
Years later, I met him again and at that point my self esteem had not been bolstered one bit. I still saw myself as that chubby, unloved, unwanted little girl; even though I was an adult. We started dating, I got pregnant, we had a son. And all through that time he was manipulating me, isolating me, physically and emotionally abusing me. But by that time I was so in love…all I thought was that I could change him and make him into the person I knew he could be. But he just took that and used it to manipulate me more. The black eyes, busted lips, missing hair on my head, bruised arms and legs were invisible to me because I told myself he didn’t mean it…but he did, he meant every rotten thing he had ever done to me and I simply ignored it.
By this time, my family and friends were all but gone having given up on helping me to see what was really going on. They finally told me they knew I was lying about all the bumps and bruises. When they tell you to your face they know, that’s when it really starts getting embarrassing. And then you have nowhere to turn, nowhere to go. You begin to sink into it all as the abuse becomes a normal part of your life. And then one day, you just disappear. You look at your world as if it’s not you, it’s someone else…you’re watching a video of horrors and this cannot be you…but it is. That’s when you realize you have to get out or you will never find yourself again. That’s when you know, that one day, you’ll never be able to come back if you don’t leave. That is when you have a moment of clarity and realize your life is at stake, and this is not normal, and this may be your only chance at freedom. That’s when you make the call. And if you are lucky, you can somehow, with whatever resources you have, pull yourself out of the hell you’ve been in, out of the nightmare, and wake up to your life. I had to do that, but I did not do it alone. I owe my life to the help that was out there.
So, whoever you are, wherever you work, in whatever capacity that assists victims of domestic violence…thank you! You have saved a life and I hope you know, I was worth it!